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Greetings, Y'all!

I know that it has been a long time since I have updated my blogger, but with a day off, I can only assume that this is the best way for me to fill these empty hours in my day! :)

I've been working hard these last few months to get myself in a stable frame of mind, but it always seems to kick me right in the head and keep me semi-unstable. I guess it's the instability that keeps me stable. Now how dumb does that sound?

Life in Welland is what you'd call an interesting one. On one hand I am at the top of the Genetically gifted, since I have all of my teeth, a car that could pass a safety, and looks that, compared to the rest of this god-forsaken town, make me seem like a mega-hunk. I both hate and love this place. I love it, simply because of the fact that I do look good compared to the rest of the toothless hosers with mullets and coke-bottled glasses, but I hate this place because of those same low-lifes.

Other than that, I am doing alright, how about you???

One of the things that I miss most in this world, is having a working pancreas. I could really go for a Slurpee right now. In the 372 days since finding out about my diabetes, I have not gone a day without craving a pepsi-slurpee. At least when I was in Florida, I got to experience the Diet Pepsi slurpee. When oh when will they bring it to this god-forsaken land! :(

Life as a married man, continues unabaited. We have our days, and then some times, we have pretty good days. I love her to death, and I know that she loves me, but for some reason that I can't explain. I think that she's hiding something from me... Perhaps she's cheating on me? Who knows?

Anyways, I guess that I had less to say than I had originally thought. Oh Well... Catch you on the flip side!

Forch.

Greetings, Y'all!

I know that it has been a long time since I have updated my blogger, but with a day off, I can only assume that this is the best way for me to fill these empty hours in my day! :)

I've been working hard these last few months to get myself in a stable frame of mind, but it always seems to kick me right in the head and keep me semi-unstable. I guess it's the instability that keeps me stable. Now how dumb does that sound?

Life in Welland is what you'd call an interesting one. On one hand I am at the top of the Genetically gifted, since I have all of my teeth, a car that could pass a safety, and looks that, compared to the rest of this god-forsaken town, make me seem like a mega-hunk. I both hate and love this place. I love it, simply because of the fact that I do look good compared to the rest of the toothless hosers with mullets and coke-bottled glasses, but I hate this place because of those same low-lifes.

Other than that, I am doing alright, how about you???

One of the things that I miss most in this world, is having a working pancreas. I could really go for a Slurpee right now. In the 372 days since finding out about my diabetes, I have not gone a day without craving a pepsi-slurpee. At least when I was in Florida, I got to experience the Diet Pepsi slurpee. When oh when will they bring it to this god-forsaken land! :(

Life as a married man, continues unabaited. We have our days, and then some times, we have pretty good days. I love her to death, and I know that she loves me, but for some reason that I can't explain. I think that she's hiding something from me... Perhaps she's cheating on me? Who knows?

Anyways, I guess that I had less to say than I had originally thought. Oh Well... Catch you on the flip side!

Forch.

Well January 15th is here once again, and all I gots to say about that is..... Whooptie Shit!

What is it about the thought of my own birthday, that sends me spiraling in to a deep dark depression? This is supposed to be my lucky birthday! #26! The beginning to the one year that was going to bring everything together for me, and what is it? A total load of Monkey Crap. If at 6:30 in the morning, I am already detesting this day more than any other, I just can't wait for 12:26. By then I will probably want to just go home and cry myself to sleep on a huge pile of broken glass! I mean what the hell am I doing up? Probably because for the last 5 months, I have not had a decent night's sleep.

Honestly, most of my life I have been accused of being overly selfish. An affliction that I still get accused of having today. And honestly, I can understand why people would think of me that way. I mean I want everything. Toys, Movies, anything. I can't go one single hour without mentioning one thing that I would like to have. Then why is it, that nobody bought me anything for my birthday? Are birthdays not gift giving occasions? See what I mean? Selfish as hell, right?

I know that I probably should not complain, I mean afterall, I am surrounded by people who love me to death. It's just that most of the time, I think that they really don't think too highly of me. More than likely, it's because of my eccentricities. Which I can understand. Being misunderstood is something that I have grown accustomed to. Not being a priority in everyone's life is something that I have gotten used to as well. I'm used to having things that are solely dedicated to myself hastily put together at the last minute. And hell, I guess that I don't even mind that when going out for dinner for my birthday, that we drive to 3 different restaurants at 8 at night until we find one with a suitable wait time, when we could have just gone to Swiss Chalet or something, and I would have been perfectly happy with that. But you see, I am grateful that people would do these things for me, I really am. But let's face facts here.... The only person that even thought enough ahead to do anything about my birthday is my Grandmother, who I am eternally grateful to. She gave me a Freakin' Van, and still gave me money for my birthday, and was the only person who didn't put the darned thing together at the last minute.

Am I that worthless in the eyes of the people in my life that they can't even take a moment to think ahead? I don't know. I'd like to think not. But when you're as bummed about your birthday as I am, it's hard to think otherwise.

Hey guys, time for another trip to the exciting world of Forchie-Land!;

Well Week 3 has come and gone for me at Convergys, and nothing too major to report. Training is going well for me, and I am enjoying it. Our training group, even though it is getting smaller, seems to get along a bit better each day. We are all very comfortable with each other, which makes for less tension at the workplace. I'm just glad to have made a few new friends, which makes me feel alot better, because let's face it, you can always use a new friend or two or seven :)

About half of us took a trip to the Daily Planet last Tuesday night, and I have to admit, it turned out to be a really good outing for the "Screaming Blue Monkey Killers" (That's the name of our class, we had to make one up) I also got a chance to see my Buddies John, Brandon, Jeff and Chad, whom I don't get a chance to see all that often, but it was nice nonetheless.

Deja Vu had a gig last night at the Temple Club, and my goodness what a night it turned out to be! The place had a good crowd, supplied mostly by friends and family of the band, of course, but still managed to get the house rockin' with a terrefic atmosphere. As a band, each time I see them, they just get better and better. I videotaped most of the gig, probably about 3 hours of it, and I think that perhaps I'll be able to sample some mp3's and maybe a CD out of it. Which in turn would become a great present for my future Father-in-Law: Bob Dault: "Sex Machine", since he really appreciates that kind of gesture. He was really cool to me yesterday, which I am really glad to see, since afterall, I am going to marry his daughter. And speaking of Nathalie, she, as always sounded impeccable, as well as looking incredibly stunning. She's the lone eye-popper on the stage, well at least for me, since she's the only girl on stage :) But she contrasts the rest of the band well, with the whole "Six Dicks and a Chick" Motif.

Yeah, the videotape of last night, is on my to do list of things to look at. I'd like to be able to edit it, and make a tape for the guys in the band. But I have a feeling that it's going to look really shaky.... Especially the last few songs. I had to hold my hand in a stationary position so long last night, my right hand shook violently for an hour afterward, and I actually had to stop halfway through the third set.... My right hand is really starting to worry me... That's the second time this month my hand shook like that. I hope that it isn't something serious like Parkinsons or something like that. I don't want to burden Nathalie with that.

I think that my weight loss (Which now stands close to almost 80 Pounds) is still continuing. My new 38 waist pants are getting a looser feeling, even after their first washings, so I have a feeling that the shrinking continues.... I'm in and around the 225-230 pound range from the 295-300 pounds I was sitting at around Christmas. I am really happy about the weight loss. And Nathalie seems to think that I look sexier... Well I dunno about that, But it sure does feel good to have a smaller waist than I did in my pre-KFC days. And that Pesky looking Double chin of mine seems to have all but dissappeared.... I'm still trying to figure out where it came from since I never really made any changes to my diet.... I've narrowed it down to 3 choices.... Metabolic Change, Tapeworm or I've got some kind of degenerative disorder, where I am slowly deteriorating in muscle structure.... What do you think???? Personally, I am going with Tapeworm.... But then again, I seem to starve myself alot too....

Well, it's a week away to my in-laws 25th anniversary, and I am kind of looking forward to it. Droves of French-Canadian are migrating to Welland for this historic occasion. Most of them being Nathalie's family :) I'm really excited for Bob and Nicole. They are such great people. For someone as outspoken as I am, very opinionated, they treat me like a son... Sometimes, I almost think they treat me better than my own parents do... Well they're pretty close... I've never not felt welcome at their home. Heck, Nicole makes burgers just for me sometimes. And what better way to win my favor than to tempt me with a mouth-watering hunk of ground beef cooked to juicy perfection..... Oh damn, I need a burger! And she's in Quebec.... WHAT AM I GOING TO DO!!! I NEED HOT JUICY BEEFY GOODNESS!!!! :) Oh well :) I do have Burgers on Credit from her, I may have to cash in on those after the anniversary party... Yeah..... Mmmmmmmm. Burgers...

Bob and I are planning an 18-hole day, which sounds great. It'll gimme a chance to break in my new driver and the new Sand Wedge that Nathalie's going to buy me, for my 35% as her Agent/Manager/Roadie/Groupie/Videographer/Limo Driver fee :) Hey. I've always wanted to be part of a band, and I suck at Singing, and I can't play an instrument :) So, Bob and I are gonna hit 18, which I think may prove to be a real good bonding experience between the two of us. I really like Bob, and I wanna become really good buddies with him... That's probably why I am so willing to help the band move their equipment for gigs :) I hope that maybe one day, he'll teach me to play the guitar! Then maybe I can be in the band too! heh heh, sure! With my hand-eye co-ordination I can barely play the tambourine :)

Anyways, It's time for me to enjoy my day off with the love of my life! Later!

Christopher "Road Dog" Fortier.

Hey there, whoever reads this! What's up???

Not too much is going on in the world of Forch-a-mania, but I figgers that I gots to keep you posted :)

I finished my first week at Convergys, and I am happy to report that I am still there! some of the class, however isn't. Which is kind of upsetting. I'm getting a grip on what it looks like I am going to be doing, and I think that I can do it well... Convergys seems to be a company that really supports their staff, and I think that I am going to really like it here. :)

I won $50 on a bingo ticket for the second consecutive week, yay! I am going out to buy myself a new Driver, and perhaps a new Golf Bag. I need one of each :) for sure!

I don't miss working at Blockbuster....

Eric Bischoff??? My God, never thought that I would ever see him on Raw, but there he was! :)

God damn, it's hot in here! I need better AC :)

My car is a piece of crap, but then again, most of my friends know that! Now, there is a dent in the front fender, which is the responsibility of my landlord, but I don't feel that putting the money into the car is a good idea... I want the van, but I don't think that's an option... Who knows???

I have no idea what to do this weekend.... Any suggestions???? Poolside may be the best option :)

Either that, or I may have to hit the links.... Nah, at least the driving range!!!

Anyways, I am going to bed....

And if you don't like that, I've Got two words for ya!!!!

Chris Fortier.

Well it looks like a new chapter in my life has begun... The ForchMan-Blockbuster era has ended, and now a new era has begun.... The era of Convergys! Yes, Convergys! I started there 3 days ago, and it looks like a step in the right direction! Finall, Nat and I can afford to get married next year, and finally, I can afford things like a new vehicle, and a new set of Golf Clubs, and more DVD's! Which is kind of ironic considering, working at a video store should give you a better opportunity for that! :) I got a lot to learn before I master the art of Convergys, but I look forward to this next challenge, and set forth the old Fortier charm and charisma in order to achieve my goal.

Life seems to be coming together for old Chris, here. I got the hand of a beautiful gal, I've dropped over 4 inches from my waist, and am now down to about a semi-slim 235 pounds. I'm wearing a size 38 for the first time since the mid-90's, and I feel good! Heck, a 38 is too big for me! :) That's weird :) Mom seems to be happy about it, as well as Nat. She's got a well-oiled sex machine, but I think that she may have lost the keys :) heh heh... Wink, wink :)

I've made a few new friends this past week, with my new job, it's great. I'm hoping that working at Convergys will do alot better for my social calendar than working taht the BBV. Not that I don't miss the excessive drivel of a bunch of brain-dead retards, but I think moving on from Blockbuster is a good thing... I miss the staff. I have a few friends there whom I will miss working with. But I am on to bigger and better things :) But it's hilarious how many people will recognize me from Blockbuster... Which is cool in its own mini celebrity way, but also sucks ass, because I'll forever be labeled at the Blockbuster Guy, but it's a handle I will have to live with.

It's also nice to know that I am going to be able to take a bit better care of myself, with the extra money rolling in for us... Maybe we can start to eat out more often... I miss going out to restaurants, and since I am going to have weekends off for the first time in four years, I can re-aquaint myself with Golf, and enjoy the company of Chesty McAlpine, my luscious bride :) I mean Nathalie, of course.... That's just her Porn Star Name... And No.... She isn't in any movies :) My Goal is to teach her to swim this summer... Rough Task, but a welcome challenge...

This Summer also marks my in-laws 25th Wedding anniversary... Big party planned.... Not too worried about the party itself. That should be a cakewalk. More or less worried about the after-party the next day.... (Insert code-talk.... beep beep beep...) Eagle 1 is going to be entering the lions den.... The Lions Den is going to be occupied by Charlie, and Charlie is out for blood.... Charlie's got back-up, even though "The First Daughter" doesn't seem to think so.... But I promised Mr and Mrs. President that I would accomplish my objective with as few casualties as possible... And griping won't do any good... But I ain't afraid to spill my own blood to make sure my personal objectives are met, when faced with enemy fire..... (....Signal Ended...)

Is it just me, or was that too complex for certain people to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES"? I know that some people think that the wool's been pulled over my eyes, but let's face facts.... I'm not as dumb as I look.... I know what goes on around me... I may not approve of it.... But I could Freakin' care less anymore... This town is full of some of the dumbest people I have met... And we all know who they are.... Or at least I know... And it don't take sending a sibling with a weapon over to your cousin's house to figger it out... I'm not as dumb as I look.... And if you got a problem with it.... T.S. (For all you 'tards, that means Tough Shit.... It's called an Acronym...) Send someone over to beat me... I don't care.... But then who'll look like the ass???

But that's just my opinion, What do you know???

Christopher Fortier.

You know what bothers me??? Besides everything and nearly everyone in existence??? The Stupidity that exists in this city... People in Welland have to be missing a y-chromosome or two, because I tell you, Stupidity runs rampant, like wildfire in the Rose City, and for the life of me, I can not figure out why... I'd try to do my best to change it, but let's face facts, I am not that fond of this place, so why change it???

Case in point, a gentleman (Loose terminology) calls up at work, and asks me if he can rent without his driver's licence or his membership card... I let him know, no he can not... We need either to be able to rent to him... He gives me a line about us being unable to print up cards, which is true, we have been without the resources to print them up for sometime, which is nobody in our store's fault, and it isn't for a lack of ordering, because we've ordered every month, but have not gotten them... I try to explain to him, with no avail, so he tells me that he can't find his licence, so what is he to do??? At this point, I enter my "Intollerant" mode, and ask him if he plans on driving to the store to rent... He says to me, yes... I make it clear to him that it is illegal to drive a car without your licence on you... So he says to me: "Yeah, and I am sure that you have never done it!", so myself being the witty guy that I am rebut: "Well I am not the one trying to rent a movie", to which he hangs up.... Now one person can say, well you were rude to him, but he was rude to me first. Taking out his frustrations on me without any warrant... I just rebutted a stupid statement with a stupid response... Wassup wit' dat??? :)

It's people like that, who confirm my belief that people in this God-forsaken town are total Smeg-Heads! People who would rather go on permanent disability for their Make-believe afflictions than hold down a job they say they can't handle, yet have done as diligently as their pea-sized brain can do for multiple years! It's a general Malaise that overthrew this town many years ago... Men's Dicks started to make even unrelated decisions for them, and Women felt that it was not nessesary to get off of their backs, and then a generation of Slack-Jawed Jackasses... And these Assclowns started a revolution... The Welfare revolution!!! And with that revolution, Welland became a wretched hive of scum and Villany.... Guys in their 20's, who refuse to find work, living in their parent's basements until they're 40, because it's just too easy to be a slacker, then exist in the real world... Or Chicks, who have their 4th kid, for a bigger Baby Bonus and more support each month.... YOU ALL MAKE ME SICK!

Now, I am by no means, the Master Race... I am lazy... I have a dead-end job. But at least I am working... I have just as many problems in the world as everyone else, but you know what? I don't use it as a Crutch... There have been times where I nearly gave up and said, screw it, give me my welfare check, so I can buy my big screen TV and sit on my ass all day watching my Sattelite TV... But I am content with Cable and working for a living... I may go off and feel like ripping someone a new one, and yes, there is alot of Self-Loathing here, but you know what??? I can deal with my problems... I don't use stuff that put me in therapy 10 years ago, keep me from living my life today...

I know some people don't care what I am thinking, and I could care less if you do... And if you want to beat me, go right ahead.... To Steal a Phrase from someone, "Beat me, if you can.... SURVIVE! If I let you...." BWAHAHAHAHAH! Am I crazy? Or am I just that damn Good.... None of you will ever know....

And that's my story, I'll stick to it, and stick it to you if I have to!

WELLAND SUCKS ASS!!!

Christopher Fortier....